Dating Older Men & Finance

Money

You have just told your date:

I can only afford to take you out for a cheap meal. I have given my son / daughter / son-in-law / daughter-in-law several thousand pounds for a new house. I doubt if I will ever get the money back.

Will your date think:
a What a nice person. Looks after the family.

b I’m sure if I stick around until Christmas we’ll go out on a decent date.

c People start as they mean to go on. Mean is the operative word. He’s going to be mean to me all the time, a different excuse every month, spending on the children, the grandchildren, the car, his next holiday, never enough for an evening out. He doesn’t budget properly.

d Yeah - he’s generous to everybody else but not to me. He values them but not me. he cares about keeping them happy - although they’re earning money.

e I’m wasting my time here. All their money is going to their children and they’ll never be able to afford to marry again.

f Goodbye to this person. I’ll date Fred - he’s a bit more generous. It’s time I had some fun. If not now, when?

g Okay, so I’ll have lunch with you on Monday. But Saturday night I’m also ‘busy with the family’ - actually out with Fred.

h Yes, well, I’ll give my money to my children. I don’t see why you should give your money to your children and live off me.

i Some people don’t know when to keep quiet. I’ve got more sense than to say this straight away.

j I like the fact that he’s honest with me. At least I know where I stand. I won’t put him off by expecting expensive meals. Just glad of the company of a decent man.

k Okay. So where are we going for lunch? You tell me what's in your budget.

l Ah - I have a discount voucher. Aren't I smart! You are obviously a pushover and do whatever anybody asks. Just leave lunch to me.

m I've found a place within your budget. No way am I missing out on lunch.

n A sandwich will do. So long as we go out somewhere. I'm tired of being home alone.


Now, consider both sides. What do you feel when you are told this? What effect might it have on the other person? What are you thinking?

a Gosh - no wonder I don't get enough dates. I must be more careful about what I say and the message it conveys to the other person.

b This is a revelation. But I'm not changing. Better to be upfront and get things clear from the start.

c Other people worry too much. I just want somebody who's easygoing.

d Other people are so complicated. Not sure what to do. Yet. I'd better read this again. And consider very carefully.

e I think I'll date the one who wrote this. She sounds amusing - and a challenge - will keep me on my toes.

f The person wo wrote this is just like my friend. I'll introduce them. They can torment each other.