Zoo Logical verse

verse 895

Zoo Logical

by Angela Lansbury

My homework was due in last week

To write as if animals speak

What they think of me and mother

Dad, my brother - and each other!

My dogs and I communicate

Wagged tails and barks means walks are great

Good luck, today not much to do

I stroll, they trot, to see our zoo

Zoos won’t let dogs and cats go in

To visit lions - kith and kin

I said, ‘Cats - I beg your pardon.

Dogs, let’s walk round our garden’.

I chased and tried to interview

Twenty mayflies in a tizzy.

They sighed, ‘Come back tomorrow, dear

Today we’re awfully busy.’

Mayflies do not outlive the night

I could not say, ‘You live one day,’

I’m honest but I’m too polite.

I smiled. I shrugged. I walked away.

***

But over in America

In the city of Atlanta

A chimp can type three thousand words

Using a computer.

Like, “Please buy me a hamburger.’

Computers help it translate talk

Another signs two thousand words

One taught itself to write with chalk

If animals all had a vote

Some would live long or make a fuss

The dirt party, cockroaches

Would soon out-vote all of us

For most of them would sleep all day

And make us vegetarian

Lions and tigers would put them right

And the worms eat us - barbarians!

Cut them in half and they double

So you end up with two many

The tapes worms might crawl out to vote

But the rest sleep in the cemetery.

-ends-

copyright Angela Lansbury