Endings: Happy Endings, Sad Endings, Twist Endings

Problem I am trying to analyse what I like about posts by David Astbury on Facebook and famous novels. Answer They have characters and plot. The twist at the end can be either that all is bad but ends well or that all is well but ends badly or with a hint that all might not be well. Drama and Tension Drama comes from suspense. Either the journey (a train or life) is travelling to a destination where the funeral speech will sum up the life. Or the suspense can be a battle. (WWII or WWI are big world wide battles. A soldier can fight in an individual battle in wartime. Alternatively it can be an external element such as a flood, fire or earthquake. The person battle can be against an ideology, such as religious, or political. Or an internal battle, such as alcoholism, or with cancer. The hero/heroine can be battling himself / herself. Or the family can be trying to save him or her. Younger people and cinema goers apparently often like the dramatic and realistic ending (hero dies), especially in an action movie. I and most woman's magazines published in the UK see literature as an escape and like a happy ending. The same preference for a happy ending applies to me and many audiences, for non-fiction, positive thinking. Speech Competitions For example, I attend a lot of speech meetings and competitions organised by clubs, areas of under half a dozen clubs, divisions of the country into groups of areas, and districts (mainly whole countries). I have often acted as a judge, or tie-breaker judge, or simply a ballot collector and counter. Speeches About Suicide In one week I have heard two speeches about suicide. One (at Bukit Timah club) was a story telling speech in which the speaker told us how she was haunted by the death of her 19-year-old college friend, who was overweight, bullied, thought she was ugly, changed her ambition in life, no longer wanted to go to college, only wanted to get married, married a delivery boy in her father's company, seemed very happy on her wedding day, but committed suicide a month later. The speaker says with hindsight, and the wisdom of age, and the change in public knowledge, she would not be able to spot the change in her friend's personality. The purpose of that speech was to tell an emotional, moving story. The speaker was quietly spoken, and seemed quite upset. The evaluator of the speech suggested more dialogue, to bring to life contrasting change in the character of the doomed girl. I felt the joyful mood of the occasion of our meeting was dampened, and would have liked to have ended on a more upbeat note. Instead of or in addition to starting by saying that the girl's personality changed and nowadays people would understand that was significant of an internal problem (physical or mental), end by saying that. Turn it around so the speaker does not depress herself, 'I have learned ... from my experience'. Give the audience a benefit to take away. "You can learn from my experience.' Or, "I hope you have learned from my experience ..." A second speech (at Toa Payoh south) was about a home tutor whose pupil confessed to self-harming and worrying about what would happen if he failed his exams. The tutor alerted the parents and the school / 6th form college and the pupil did the year again, so that the immediate pressure and stress was removed, and the pupil had time to prepare better, be more confident of knowing the work, and be sure of a better grade. Interestingly, I would have thought that treating the exam as a 'mock' would be better. Tell the pupil that it does not matter if you fail first time. List example of people who have passed on the second attempt, or third. Or succeeded without. GCSE was brought in so that instead of a 'fail', a pupil could have a grade. Indians advertising in cvs or marriages often state that they have taken a course or an exam and failed, because the fact that they have taken a course is the first step to success and show the effort made, and that at least some knowledge has been obtained. (It occurs to me for the first time, as I write this, that besides, in India in the past and probably the present as in some countries,you might pass or fail in some exams or geographical areas or institutions if you have not bribed the right people!) What was the moral of the story? To look for the signs. As the websites about help for suicides tell you: a) You often see the warning signs or 'cry for help'. Notice them. Act. If you don't know what to do, seek out friends and relatives or professional bodies. b) Many stories end happily. People who attempt suicide (jumping off bridges but being prevented or rescued) go on to live many years, lead successful and/or happy lives, and later reunite with and thank the rescuers. c) Sometimes the professionals and strangers can't help. What the suicide wants is help from a family member. You can call the parent, the mother, somebody sympathetic. I see illness as a see-saw. Whether the illness is physical or mental, or both, or physical affecting your mind, or mind affecting your body, or both, or one then another alternation, the solution is the same. Add help to the body and mind 1 Sleep or rest 2 Food and drink (not alcohol but water) 3 Prevention and protection from outside germs (hand washing, plasters, sterility) 4 Isolation (from others who might catch germs, from copycat ideas of self harm, from depression), not seeing the news, not conveying bad news 5 Glass half full - thinking positively, watching comedy, seeing musicals, meeting new people, telling good news about yourself and others. I would sum up with the acronym SEA See - Act - Success! Angela Lansbury, CL, ACG, author and speaker.

My Achievements 2016 and 2017

1 Performed mock wedding ceremony for photos before sunset at Botanical Gardens, Singapore when the registrar was late. 2 Judge and Chief judge at Singapore Toastmasters clubs. 3 Entered my first Tall Tales competition in Harrovian Speakers in Londonand came second. 4 Discovered I had visited 49 clubs in Singapore and five different countries worldwide (UK, Singapore, Thailand, China, Hong Kong.) My Blog on travel rose over 100 clicks a day and reached over 300 on one occasion. 2017 1 Visited a toastmasters club in Prague, Czech Republic. (Acted as Grammarian and Evaluator, gave GE feedback.) 2 Was Contest Chair at a Tall Tales competition (HOD Speakers).

Wills and Spills, Therapy and Writing Novels As Therapy

One of my new year tasks is to write and publish another novel based on family history. Many people write a book on retirement, trying to come to terms with the loss of their parents, or a divorce, or a will. Will Disputes I recently met a lady I shall call Louise who was writing about her divorce and the loss of her husband and a dispute over a will. Doesn't everybody over 50 have a story of a death and a dispute over a will? I was interested to hear her account of her memoir writing. Family History and Novels Legal Issues One issue is copyright. Another is libel (the written word) and slander (spoken words). She had legal advice and was told not to mention her rival, but only publish extracts from court cases which are in public domain. Family History Of A Spouse Another friend was helping her husband write his memoir. One publisher had fallen on hard times and now sought a co-sponsor. Could the woman get financial help from her husband's family? She feels that the book would have more status if it were financed and published by an independent publishing house. Memoirs When You Are Too Tired To Write Her husband is elderly and has not got the energy to write down his stories. Even if you cannot write, you can dictate. That's what was done for weekly columns int he newspaper by the late AA Gill, who died in 2016. The wife I spoke to is trying to be her husband's copy editor and agent. Coping With Bad Memories I and others wondered whether 'Louise' was really finding the publication of her book therapeutic. She is currently worried whether the publisher will accept it, after she has made the legally required changes. After that stress is over, and the book is published, will she be able to move on? A third friend was forced, by siblings' solicitors, to leave the home she shared with her mother, within a fortnight of the mother's death. She is now a therapist. My Family Wills Now, back to my books about my family's disputes over the will, leaving money to the boys, and the second will, leaving money to the girl, and the third will, and the fraud. Must go - just got a phone call from will writers. Your Will Please leave me something in your will to remember you. Whilst I would find £100,000 extremely handy, or even £10,000, or even £10, or £1 (in new coins please), I'd be equally happy with a suit, or sweater, skirt or silk scarf, music playing puppet, or signed book, unsigned book or framed photo or unframed photo.

Cinderella Updates - good or bad?

Rewriting Cinderella and other well-known plots into modern day stories is popular with new writers and writing groups. You have a setting, characters and a plot. You update it and change it so that only the plot remains. But once you change the characters and setting, that changes the plot. So more often just the theme is left, the boy meets girls, loses girl gets girl, and/or the rags to riches story. As reported by the BBC news website, the Cinderella story has been rewritten and updated by children, encouraged by an author who asks them leading questions. In my opinion, the most important part of the Cinderella story is the midnight curfew. She catches the last bus home. She decides it's bedtime. Never mind that the Prince and his party carry on. She has work to do next morning. Now, the question is being asked, are updates a good or bad idea? Since the original still remains, no reason why assorted updates should not be tried. Angela Lansbury, author and speaker. See my books on Amazon and Lulu.com

Resurecting the Dead Voice To Cure Depression

How do you deal with depression and bereavement. Some people prefer to forget. Others cling on to everything, visiting the same places, repeating phrases and quotations, keeping a room such as a bedroom or a whole house exactly as it was. A new system allows you to create a voice which will answer questions in the sound and style of a deceased friend. Could be used to cure depression after bereavement.Can be misused. So can everything. The App store has Luka. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3826208/Would-resurrect-dead-friend-AI-Try-memorial-chatbot-app-talk-virtual-version-Prince.html Angela Lansbury, author.

How to Teach English and Find More Schools and Places

England has immigrants with high birth rates so we need more schools. What's the answer. Several solutions to consider. Build on wasteland. (Not green belt land. Unused land. Under bridges. Derelict land.) Use public libraries more, especially at evenings and weekends or days when they are normally closed. Run alternative schools in school holidays for catch up on English and activities like art and sports. Run two sittings in schools like Singapore did. One operates rom 7 am until 1pm, a second from 2 pm until 8 pm. Have a system where you can take an exam after a certain number of school day or hours of learning credits. Children who are ill or keen can take extra hours of supervised homework and take self-administered tests early to do exams early and free up places. Run a system for filling up places when pupils are away sick or on planned holidays, so children otherwise at home can go to any school which has a free place and use a token to 'buy' a day's lessons at that school. Find schools with shorter terms and run extra days at the school. Bring retired teachers back to work at schools full time. Encourage more people to teach their own children at home. They can follow set books. Allocate a weekend hour, or a weekend holiday in a school and amonthly test at home or in school to use school equipments and socialise. Have children who are sick or have poor English watching lessons on computers at home. Supplement and check on their progress with end of the day catch up lessons. Call volunteers to run English language classes in churches and mosques and synagogues for immigrants - in exchange for translation of documents into their languages. Angela Lansbury, blogger, author, speaker.

Good and evil

Good and evil always perplexes many. Why don't others see evil the way I see it? There's my country right or wrong. This explains the dictators who are good to their dogs. They also take the attitude, You are with us or against us. Alternatively, a kind of independent God's eye view of the world. How I would see matters as a judge or arbitrator, jury member, Martian. There are distinctions between nurture and nature. Some people don’t feel but think you are in their way. Other people do feel - and enjoy the pain of others, perhaps out of revenge random targets, from a sense of grievance childhood.

Winning Table Topics Contest

I won the table topics contest in London.

Angela Lansbury, author and speaker.

Happy or Sad Ending? Comedy or Tragedy? Or both?

Old Plots Authors often update or draw inspiration from the bible, The Old Testament, The New Testament, Folk Tales and news stories. The Bible My favourite biblical (Old Testament) story is Joseph. Sibling rivalry. The older brother saves his younger brother from death by offering them instead of revenge, financial reward. The sell the brother. The happy end is when he becomes a rich man in his new environment. He also gets revenge. From the New Testament, feminists are please by the Jesus story about cast the first stone which is extremely clever. It seemed to be so out of date when I heard it as a child. We now see in news videos that it is still relevant today. Revenge Plots Many stories are written as wishful thinking revenge. A title such as Revenge is sometimes given in competitions. Many authors feel uneasy with their first draft. Or the reader feels uneasy. I often abandon projects like this, filled with unkind acts, plots without any ray of joy. Injecting Joy And Happiness What can you do as an author to turn an unmitigated tragedy and revenge into something sweeter, happier, less sour and angry? Make a happy ending? Comedy Can you introduce humour into a tragedy? How is that possible? Shakespeare Shakespeare did it. He has comic characters in MacBeth, romance in Romeo and Juliet. Shalom Aleichem Shalom Aleichem keep up humour writing about poverty and tragedy. His most famous story about 1880 programs and emigration in stories was later made into the musical Fiddler On The Roof. Life Is Beautiful A reverse of this is how a WWII holocaust concentration camp was made into a tragic-comedy in the film Life Is Beautiful. Throughout the film, a half-witted joker Dad makes believe to his child in hiding, that hiding from the Nazis in a Concentration camp is just a game. If the father and son succeed, win, the little boy will ride on a tank. Spoiler alert: the seeming happy end is the end of the war when they are rescued. At the last moment the father running beside the tank is shot dead by a Nazi sniper and the joyful crowd and little boy riding the tank carry on in the victory parade, leaving behind the body, unaware of the tragedy. Catherine Lim's Teacher Catherine Lim's story about the teacher, shows the death of one person (a pupil) whilst everybody is shocked but the teacher carries on, the one person who seems almost untouched, phlegmatic. The teacher in that story shows one of the three ways of coping: 1 Life goes on. 2 I didn’t know. 3 It wasn’t my fault. Abandoned and Censored Stories The stories I abandon are mainly short stories on themes set for competitions. I postponed writing my own life story, which is still private only, and heavily censored. Destroyed Manuscripts, Paper, Letters A good friend of mine in London, an author and member of my writing group, who has gone blind, destroyed all her life story and love letters in order to protect her sons and daughters and stepsons and stepdaughters and grandchildren from distress. I wish she had saved everything in a box deposited at the local library, only to be opened 100 years after her death. Censoring Regarding content, I am not keen on violence and torture. I don't like to put unpleasant images into the reader's mind, nor my own. I don't like reading about people spoiling other’s food. I fear it puts bad ideas into the heads of restaurant staff. As a consumer, such stories make me suspicious and nervous about eating out. Revenge I think ‘the best revenge is living well’. So the revenge or death of the villain must be an accident. Politically Correct Characters My favourite example of a politically correct novel is George Eliot’s Daniel Deronda. (Written to undo the furore over the Dickens’s character Fagin.) She cleverly attracts the reader, who would mostly have been Victorian Christian readers when the novel was published. She panders to their prejudice that Christians are good and that Jews are wily, thieving old men, by starting her book with a virtuous hero adopted son of a Christian family, trying to outwit a racially old Jewish man. Then along comes the Jewish man’s innocent daughter, a beautiful, talented pianist, tormented by her father. The novel ends happily (after the death of the young couple’s mentor and helper) with the hero adopted son turning out to be of Jewish origin. The plot is the proverbial Cinderella story ending of the poor girl (Jewish) winning the handsome Prince. *** The moral for the authors of today, is that you can get around the publisher and public objecting to the portrayal of a villain of a particular area or religion, by ensuring that another member of their family, or another character, has the opposite characteristics and is a hero. This is handy for the novelist. However, it also reflects real life. Whilst it is often true that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree (bad parents may have bad children) in large families, as well as small families, often siblings are on different sides, one a villain, another a hero (depending on which side you are on!) Happy Endings I tend to write happy endings, not just for the benefit of the reader but because I find that writing sad endings, whilst it might be true to life, does not right the wrongs, and depresses me. I write to get over the hurt, and restore happiness. Revenge might restore justice, or equality of the victim and assailant. But they don’t increase the amount of happiness in the world. Just the amount of destruction. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Crying and Catharsis Last night I went to a Toastmasters meeting and heard a speech about Crying. The popular view has it that crying about the suffering of others is cathartic. It enables you to cry without actually enduring any real life suffering. I have never found that crying over real or imaginary matters helped - I just end up more depressed and with a blocked nose and a bad cold. Shakespeare achieves what we are often told not to do, alternating comedy and tragedy. Category And Comedy However, modern bookshops like books which they can categorise as comedy or documentary. Publishers like books which can be promoted in a niche. Life Story My bedtime reading is a book called Your Life as Story by Tristine Rainier. She describes her workshop classes at American unversities where students are encouraged to tell their life stories including the bad bits. A Teacher's Story My favourite story by Catherine Lim is the short story of the teacher who criticises the pupil’s grammar, ignoring the content of her essays. Spoiler alert: The plot is about the suicide of a pupil. The author, Catherine Lime, manages the amazing feat of turning a tragedy into a near comedy with the ironic ending. How did it go - my copy of the book is in Singapore and I’m writing from London. It ended, “if only we’d known” or If only she’d told us”. Content and Style At the extreme ends of the content versus style divide, one extreme end of content hammered home, you have message only, when it comes from the government called propaganda. Style only, called poetry, or ‘literary novel. Angela Lansbury, author of The Tailor and The Spy.

Authors' Dilemmas On Death

Proust began his book Time Remembered with a moment in the present leading to recalling the past. His work of fiction is interspersed with factual events of his day. Historical novels do this matching of fiction with real events. So do modern novels. Authors sometimes start with one incident, and move onto an all-encompassing book, covering centuries (like A Brief History of Time) but with a happy end. A novel often starts with birth and ends with death. You can start with the funeral and do a whole book as a flashback, ending the funeral as a frame at the end, now the reader knows so much more. An author has to have some light moments, alternating mood and pace, despite some dips into the despair of death. One way is to show two characters with different, contrasting reactions to death or terminal illness. Two ladies, men, people in adjoining hospital beds, a sister and sister-in-law, or father and son, can ‘rage' against death in different ways. Raging against death refers to Dylan Thomas’s poem, best remembered by one of its lines, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night. As authors, hoping to write immortal books, we have a different worry, not just the vivid colour of chairs at our funeral, and suitable quotations from our own poems and books, but not to leave the unfinished novel. Instead of worrying about practical things, we abandon all hope of washing up, and race to finish the novel. I think authors, to guard against loss, should always write the synopsis, chapter headings and first and last lines before when over the age of 70 and embarking on a year long project.) I do not want my last words to be unfinished, “The last line of my novel is - ah - ah - ah ….!”. Angela Lansbury, author and speaker. Author of The Tailor and The Spy.

A friend's anger, drink and death - what is the cause and what is the cure?

Helen was a good friend of Sharon, who got married in Singapore earlier this year, and my other good friend Betty. I had met Helen at a party for Betty's book launch and Helen drank a lot and talked loudly. When I saw Helen again at Sharon's wedding in April 2016, Helen was singing loudly with two men at the microphone. That attracted my attention. I gradually realised that the loud singing, coupled with being unsteady on her feet, meant she might have had too much to drink. At the end of the wedding she could not find her hand bag and started shouting at the staff of the venue that she wanted her handbag, 'NOW!" We all scurried about and her handbag was found. It had been moved by the staff or guests from one of the dining tables to another position when the tables were moved to make the floor clear for dancing. Finally she threw or dropped a glass on the floor and it broke. She cut her hand. She was bleeding and speaking loudly. I had been happy for myself and the bride all evening. Now I was anxious for the bride and her injured guest. Next day, I heard that the lady had written to the bride and at least one other guest to apologise. I think she woke with no memory of what happened. Either it was recorded on somebody's phone or her husband told her. Either she or her husband or both decided she would write and apologise. I had hidden that memory away. I had a more personal memory of the wedding. Delayed Wedding Ceremony The official due to marry the bride and groom was late. He had not communicated with them all day and they were worried that he would arrive too late for their photos of the ceremony at sunset on the Botanical Gardens bandstand or would not turn up at all. We were extending the pre-dinner drinking time. This was presumably costing the bride and groom more money. The guests were getting more drunk. The bride to be sniffed, "What's the point of having a dinner to celebrate our wedding when we haven't got married?" I conducted a mock or rehearsal wedding ceremony so they could get their photos. Then the official turned up and as everybody started eating dinner, he conducted the ceremony. (We have all of this on various videos, the official videos plus a family handphone.) When we visited friends in August 2016, I was shocked to learn that Helen had died within the previous fortnight. If I have got the story right, she was suffering from both a brain tumour and a cancer which had spread from her lungs and through her lymph system. Apparently she smoked a little, not a lot. I now have several thoughts troubling me, intruding, churning through my mind: 1 Did smoking or drinking cause the cancer and did that cause the tumour? 2 Was her drinking cause or effect of her illness? 3 Was her behaviour caused by her illness? 4 Should a change of behaviour, or bad behaviour, make us check for a physical cause? (In the UK my next door neighbour, a retired nurse, said that she knew my late father-in-law was ill long before he was diagnosed, because she observed his character changing from life and soul of the party to grumpy old man.) 5 Should I be more forgiving and tolerant, as her friends were? 6 How many instances of anti-social behaviour, and more serious problems, such as psychopathic serial killers and mad dictators and leaders starting wars are suffering from an illness which could be treated to relieve their malaise and save the rest of us from suffering from their actions and save their family and friends grieving at their early death, however it may appear to be caused. Angela Lansbury Author of How To Get Out Of The Mess You're In.

Composing My First 'Round' Song; By the Bay of Fishguard; at Writers' Holiday in Wales

How did I come to write poems and songs at Writers' Holiday in Wales
Poetry was the subject of one of the after tea talks at Writers' Holiday held in Fishguard Wales in July 2016. Course leader Alison Chisholm always comes up with amusing ideas. And usually a tiny free gift.

The Poetry Homework Challenge
This year those planning to perform at the performance night were given two pieces to write. One was inspired by what was written on a piece of folded paper pulled from a box. I pulled out the word toast.

The other was a tiny frame you can use to frame a picture or item seen in a room. Hold it close to you and your body or book and it can frame an object such as the watch on your wrist. Look through it and depending on the distance you hold it, you can see an entire room or one small item in the distance.

Writer's Ambition
I am tired of writing poetry. In another class by Steve Wade we were asked to write Poetics, a cross between a mission statement and a cv and a marketing description and an ambition. We were asked to write about our past successes at writing and being published, our current projects and our future plans or hopes.

Songs
One of my hopes is to write songs. I try to write a song each day.

A Round
Therefore for Alison I chose to write a verse which could also be a round. I was surprised to find that the construction of a round song is no different. All you do is have different groups of people singing different lines or who verses in succession.

The text (lyrics) for a group of singers, musicians playing the tune and a conductor, would have to be written showing where the voices overlap, with two three, four or more lines of lyrics staggered on different lines under the music staves.

If I am the only performer, I don't need any directions.

If I direct the audience or a group of singers to sing with me, I have to provide them with photocopies or prints of the lyrics, or to print them out three or four times.

All the performers do a rehearsal. Therefore, prior to the performance I have to show my verses to Alison, as she requested, to get her approval of the performance and check the rhyme, rhythm and sense. She might wish to make additions to make it more original or interesting.

I picked two traditional round because I wanted to check the syllable count, rhythm and rhyming scheme. The first song I chose was the traditional Frère Jacques. I wrote the syllable count at the end of each verse

Song 1
The original goes:

Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques (4)
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous? (4)
Sonnez la matina, Sonnez la matina (6) (6)
Ding, dang, dong, Ding, dang, dong. (3) (3)

The words mean: Brother Jack, Brother Jack, are you sleeping? Are you sleeping? Ring (the bells) for  morning (prayers), ring the bells for morning prayers, ding dang dong. The last three words are onomatopeic (sound like what the word is describing).

I seem to remember that when I looked up the words, it was not le matina as I remembered, but La matina which would be Latin rather than French. The Matina or Matins being morning prayer(s).

Here is my song, sung to the same tune:

T for Toast and Toast for Tea
Song by Angela Lansbury

Let's toast seed bread, let's toast seed bread
Don't let's wait, don't let's wait
Put it in the toaster, put it in the toaster
For our tea, for our tea.

Alternatively
Come and toast my seed bread

Here's a version about the person who invented the toaster:

The toaster was invented in Scotland in 1893 but the pop up toaster was invented by Charles Strite in 1919.
The Invention of The Pop Up Toaster
by Angela Lansbury

For centuries the world would bake
Toasted teacakes were loved by most
After King Alfred burned the cakes
Cooks could admit they burned the toast
It wasted money, wasted time
And made the cook feel such a fool
And everyone hoped someone else
Would make a smart new toasting tool

A toaster was invented
Transforming every tea
In Scotland after porridge
In 1893
In 1918 pop up toast
Was patented by one Charles Strite
Now his invention pops up toast
For breakfast worldwide day and night.

Song 2
To the tune of Sur le Pont d'Avignon (unless somebody can write a better tune)

By the Bay of Fishguard
Song by Angela Lansbury

By the bay of Fishguard
See the ferries, see the ferries
On the bay of Fishguard
See the ferries brave the waves.

In the bar, writers sit
Scribbling stories, scribbling stories
In the bar, writers sit
Writing novels full of wit.

In the bar, writers sit
Writing songs and writing poems
In the bar, writers sit
Writing novels full of wit.

Song 3
Here's another round song, Kookaburra.
My friend Sally told me that at Guides camp the girls used to sing the Kookaburra song.

Here are the words with the syllable count after each line for the creation of a parody sung to the rhythm and the same or a similar tune:

Kookaburra sits on an old gum tree (10)
Merry, merry king of the bush is he (10)
Laugh, kookaburra, laugh, kookaburra (10)
Gay your life must be. (5)

I wanted an English bird instead of the Australian bird. A seagull was most appropriate.

Seagull Song
by Angela Lansbury

My seagull sits on the balcony
Looking up and watching me
Fly, pretty seagull, fly, pretty seagull
Fly away to sea.



Copyright 2016
Angela Lansbury
Travel writer and photographer,

USA Jello Shots Red White Blue Celebration Jelly

USA Jello Shots: Nothing says 'MURICA quite like these USA jello shots. They're red, they're white, they're blue and packed full of the good stuff (vanilla vodka, obviously). Whip these up over a summer holiday wee...



For readers of British English, Jello is an American brand of jelly, which has become the standard name for jelly.



Angela Lansbury, author, travel writer and photographer, English language teacher.

Horror Stories by Lovecraft and his Advice on how to write Horror Stories

I read a horror story by Lovecraft, then found his advice on writing. Most useful.

Amusing name. Love craft. He loved the craft of writing, and writing horror stories.

http://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/fiction/hb.aspx

http://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/essays/nwwf.aspx

Angela Lansbury, author, travel writer, photographer, teacher.

Editing a Blog Post - Why Re-Reading Text and Photo Captions Helps

CHECKING TEXT
I just retyped my headline. I typed fast and out came blag post instead of blog post. Typing this sentence in the text I typed blah post.

When you re-read your work you find these mistakes. I often neglect to go into VIEW to see what the reader will see. But if you are writing blog posts, it really improves your posts.

When I create my post I type in a wide box. But when the text appears in the blog the right hand side is filled with links and advertisements. One result is that two sentences are often enough for a paragraph. More makes a long block of text so I have to shorten paragraphs.

CHECKING PHOTOS
For example, only after writing for several years did I discover the facility to enlarge your photo to large or extra large. You can make a picture bigger so you can see the food or the expression on somebody's face.

However, sometimes the picture bleeds outside the column width. You might lose the person on the right or left of the picture. Or find the text and picture are overlapping.

Finally, when you add a photo it may slip into the place where you last left your cursor. The picture moves up, the text wraps around it and the picture captions apply to the wrong picture or sit in the middle of nowhere as if a picture has vanished. If it confuses the author, what must it do to a reader from Japan.

The other surprise is that if you have two or more blogs, you alter the frame of one and get narrow columns, but your other blog has wide columns. So what you imagine your text looks like, as you flit from updating one blog to another, is not what you expect.

Now I must save this - and check how it looks.

Remember to add your selling point or call to action at the end. You could create a signature and repeat it every time.

Angela Lansbury BA Hons. Author. Freelance writer of travel and features. Photographer. Please look at Lulu.com and Youtube and other blogs. Angela is also a speaker and speech trainer if you need one.

Too Many Adjectives, said writer Dahl

I read an article in the Daily Mail online. A man re-discovered a letter which he received from Raould Dahl, responding to a request from a then 17 year old for comments on a school project short story.

I would agree with Dahl that too many adjectives slow down an action story. However, different types of stories and audiences and subject matter require different styles.

I disagree with the example Dahl chose. 'She had a bosom' is a nonsense. Every woman has a bosom. to say that implies the writer has a one track mind. (He didn't care whether she was intelligent or had a job. She had a bosom. That was enough.)

The first four word sentence is terse. It did not create any picture in my mind's eye of the woman, but of the writer or speaker.

'A shapely, prominent bosom', however, focuses my mind on a vision of a rather well-endowed woman. A novelist has time for such long sentences. Descriptions are expected in novels as a pause between action.

But a short story writer might need to cut down on adjectives simply to cram more action into one thousand words. One thousand is the limit for the many modern short stories, because that number or words will fit into on one or two pages in a magazine with advertisements down the side.
***
Readers' comments on the same article express surprise that a letter from such a famous person had been mislaid and only just discovered.

The loss of a letter does not surprise me at all. A single sheet of paper can easily sit in an untouched file for years, stored in an attic or at the back of a cupboard. Today's houses are filled with paperwork. Writers and creative people are notorious collectors.

It takes a scientific mind to catalogue every paper and be able to locate everything.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2983602/Dear-Jay-asking-Roald-Dahl-s-brutally-honest-letter-boy-17-asked-author-advice-Level-project.html


Angela Lansbury BA Hons is an author with books on lulu.com, videos on Youtube and more blog posts on travel and other subjects. She is also a freelance photo-journalist, author and caricaturist and gives speeches and trains speakers. 

Stairs as drawers - space saving and space illusion in small spaces and small homes

I tried to leave a comment with a like on Facebook but the site would not connect me to Facebook so here's my comment.

Stairs made into drawers are a really interesting and inspiring idea. Many homes already have a cupboard under the stairs, either a coat cupboard or a toilet or a mini office, depending on the size of the staircase.

I can see the disadvantage of the drawers - if you leave one open you squash the contents when you step on them, break the drawer base and miss your footing in the night.

An alternative would be to open the drawers sideways. The drawers supported by the stair below are less dangerous from the point of view of toppling furniture such as unstable chests of drawers which can tilt and crush climbing children and absent-minded adults. I wonder whether some compromise could be reached. For example:

Secret drawers in the staircase as a Safe. (Although could only be used when nobody else was around or they'd spot it.)

Cut the drawers in half and have one coming forward and one going sideways (like some underbid drawers). This could halve or double your problems depending on the layout of the staircase.

I would always want a grab rail on the wall beside the staircase and another on the outside. More security for frail granny, overweight or pregnant mummy, slimming toddler, tipsy teenager on new year's eve, galloping Dad or guest wearing slippery slippers.

Lots of interesting ideas.

Read more at
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2956959/The-world-s-stylish-studio-apartments.html#reader-comments

How to get your blog post noticed - mention Madonna or Beyonce

How do I get my blog post noticed? I asked the SEO experts in my family. They said, mention somebody well-known or famous. If somebody famous such as Beyonce or Madonna dined in your restaurant, that will get your blog post more attention than the food. That's why the Daily Mail has links to posts to famous people all down the right hand side.

We indulged in a little speculating on what else gets attention. Headlines which scream shocking.

That explains something which has always puzzled and annoyed me. When I trained as a journalist we were taught to be impartial when writing news, or even features. You should not say that a man is amazingly old, but that he is 113 years old. The reader can form their own conclusion.

Now I realise why the headlines scream. It is not ignorance, hysteria, amateur. It is marketing. Madonna would understand that.

Angela Lansbury B A Hons
Author, blogger, speaker.
See also LinkedIn, Youtube, Facebook, Lulu.com

Have you ever wanted to change a comment or click?

"I wish the cite wood let me change that."

Comments upgrade could do any or all of the following:

1 Allow one minute in which commentators could change if clicking the wrong plus/minus by mistake.

2 Spellcheck option and delay during which you can and are advised to read before approving.

3 Alternatively spellcheck adding alternatives (labelled corrected, or in new colour, various reasons - to allow for posts to show the education or native language of speaker, to show the original is labelled original spelling sic' or in colour to show alternative spelling for the benefit of the reader and/or writer e.g. USA spelling, colour and colour - c o l o r - it has already changed mine!

4 Anybody searching for reasons for an accident is made to waste time or often gives up because too many comments are emotional adding no new facts: 'Shocking'.  'I cried when I read this', 'tell them we care'.

Label the first five different emotional reactions as such (e.g. positive; sending sympathy; negative: they deserve it; neutral who cares, move on).  Allow other posters to either click on agreement or be diverted to a page of condolences. Allow the primary comments to be additional facts (e g a similar accident took place at this location in such a year).

LOOKING FOR BUSINESS CARDS TO PROMOTE BOOKS

I WANT a business card which looks like a book. I have a few ideas.

1 I already have Vistaprint cards which allow me to upload a photo which can include myself holding my latest book.

I was on Facebook and I keep getting ads for Moo cards.
They have a section for quotations. (I have two books of quotations - and would like to devise my own quotation.
I'm not sure that it would be appropriate to use my saying, 'Of course you can wear white at your wedding if you are not a virgin - everybody else does'.
Moo also have a photographer section with an old fashioned camera and one with four different cameras.
What I was also looking for is a card which looks like a book. Their Notebook design looks like a book.

What else? How about a folding card which opens like a Book?
I tried googling 'folding' and 'cut' and found this company's offering. Pricey, but it's what I want. Maybe a birthday present?

http://www.printing.com/uk/group/regular-folding-and-cut-out-business-cards

I must go back to my books.
Last week somebody wanted to see my book How to get out of the mess you're in.
Last night somebody wanted a copy of my club history: The History of Harrovian Speakers.

I want a really unusual, distinctive business card, such as one which pops open like a miniature greeting card. Maybe I'll have to print it and make it myself. Make a pop up greeting card, print the outline small. Add a tag or photo of myself - cut round the head outline, and make it pop up.