Drinking And Driving On A Date - Yes, No, Maybe, Maybe Not

Wetherspoons have a great steak lunch for two with a bottle of wine. However, it's not ideal if you want to be wide awake at work later in the afternoon. Watch out that you don’t get so drunk that you have a hangover.

What about the man who persuades a woman to drink with a meal or go for a drink, when she doesn't want to? Or go back to his place for a meal and a drink. What if the meal does not appear? The champagne turns into beer?

If you try to persuade anybody else to do something they clearly don't want to do, you run the risk that they will be forced into agreeing and then chicken out at the last minute.

If a man, or woman, is too pushy on date one or two, the other person might begin to feel they are being pushed around. They feel out of control and just too worried to enjoy themselves.

Try not to make too many demands. Remember the film When Harry Met Sally.

The man might not want the hassle and expense of booking a restaurant.

But the lady doesn’t want the hassle and expense of buying a new phone and making all sorts of background checks on the man’s address and phone and car and identity.

c) What is she supposed to tell the family? That she is going to a nearby restaurant which they know, which they could phone if it got to midnight and she was missing? A place which has a record of both of them on CCTV.

Or to admit that she has no idea where she’s going, she’s with somebody whose address she doesn't know, somebody she's never met nor spoken to, who does not belong to any club she belongs to, and she’s going back to his place on date two. How does that look to his family and hers if it ever gets in the papers?

Dating Safety First For Women On Blind Dates

Safety Advice For Women

If a man wants a lady to get in his car and spin down the motorway to an as yet unknown (to her) restaurant or his home, whether it’s a first date a second date, or a long term arrangement (remember Bluebeard) somebody should know where she has gone and with whom.

A lady should have his car number and make, plus his address and phone number so that she can keep these with her and leave these facts behind (not in the house which he can burgle, but via email so the server keeps a record) to show where she has gone.

In the case of an accident such as a car accident, an accident at his home, or her feeling faint or him having a heart attack she couldn't even phone for help without knowing where she was.

When women date men under 50 the problems are drink and drugs. Over 50s the problems are more often health. I know of two or three cases where a lady had a date with a man who later revealed he'd just had a triple by-pass and wanted to die happy in a woman's arms.

You can't know necessarily know in advance that you will have a car accident or a heart attack. Both are equally scary, the man behind the wheel who is drunk when the lady is sober. The men behind the wheel who is sober having got the lady drunk.

Once, long ago, a man invited me to lunch and opened a bottle of wine. He drank nothing.

So when he went back to the kitchen I poured the wine into the pot plant. Yes, if I were writing a tragedy - or a comedy, the poor plant instantly collapses!

However, some people they don't tell you their health problems until half way through date one or date two.

It’s still safer to stay in a restaurant. If a man’s budget is too small. (Is he spending on all those other ladies on the nights he is busy?) He could take her to a chain like Cafe Rouge, especially if it is running a special offer, or look for a place with a discount offer.

Safety First For Men On Blind Dates

Safety Advice From Websites

Most dating websites have advice on safety.

The Worried Man

For men the advice is don’t give out your identity nor send money to strangers on the web.

Okay, so he picks a woman in the UK (or wherever he lives). What could go wrong?

Here are my warnings.

He could find himself with a suicidal woman who wants him to kill her - she’s willing to write a note to the police saying she asked him to do it.

He might meet a woman who wants him to pretend to rape her in order to fulfil her fantasy. What a dream, but she wants this to happen on the staircase, and what if her elderly neighbour calls the police.

Then what if her tough spouse, who is an expert in martial arts, gets home unexpectedly and thinks this is for real? Or maybe she planned for her spouse to arrive in the nick of time and to feel sorry for her.

Or the new date could unnerve our good man by telling him about her four previous lives in other centuries.

Other problems from a man’s point of view are:

Going back to her home and her husband suddenly appears (angry heterosexual). Going back to her place and her flatmate / girlfriend appears (angry lesbian). Spouse could appear by accident. Or pre-arranged robbery or blackmail.

‘She’ could be a man in drag.

It can be tragic. It can be funny. I hope for you it will always be the latter.

Men and women the same under law?

A sexual offence against a teenage girl is always different because

a) The female victim could get pregnant with damage to her healthy, education, job prospects and marriage prospects and lifelong physical, emotional and financial responsibility for the baby

b) She loses her virginity in a more verifiable fashion

c) A woman's reputation is damaged more than a man's

d) A man could have intercourse with a girl who is not aroused but it would be difficult for a woman to have intercourse with a male who is not aroused

e) Men are usually taller and have stronger arms and can more easily intimidate younger females

Cannibalism - thousands of years ago - readers are shocked

Today's (Feb 18 2011) Daily Mail carried an article about findings of skull 'cups' suggesting that the tribes preceding the Brits' ancestors resorted to cannibalism.

Cannibalism happened on an island in Indonesia, too, cannibals alive in last century, 1900s, in places such as Sarawak.

I asked our local guide, 'Did you ever meet a cannibal?'

He looked at me with shock, as if I'd asked a silly question, and replied, 'Of course. My grandfather was one.'

The British rulers stamped out the practice by the punishment of destroying longhouses, a big house for the entire group.

It's in all the guidebooks and history books - and local tourist guides will tell you.

In times and places of famine, also. For example, the Donner party in the USA. WWII Belsen where Anne Frank died.

See Wiki for links.

Maybe the UK scientists have proof but sensibly don't tell us.

Screaming Children Racing Around Restaurants

An article in today's BBC News on line was about children in restaurants.

It's distracting and unnerving when kids chase each other around aisles, hit siblings and fight. Like smoking areas in olden days, have a family area, plus an adults only area. Barriers stop children racing away from their table.

Restaurants serving children need drawing books and crayons. They could sell toy packs.

Parents lacking baby-sitters should pack quiet toys and books. Or even talk to children!

Romantic Times and Valentines

A picture of a paper rose was posted on Facebook by one of my friends from a Singapore toastmasters group.

Origami roses? Brilliant.

Admittedly one can't help thinking of the song. 'Paper roses,' the song says, 'like your imitation love for me'. That was the song when Torville & Dean won the ice skating dance championships.

But better paper roses than no roses. Lovely stuck on the front of a card, in a pop-up card, or to seal a hand-delivered envelope