Ickenham's Got Talent

Wetherspoons pub Friday 18 Sept 2009 celebrated its anniversary. Wetherspoons pubs feature local history and the Titchenham Arms has pictures including one of diarist Samuel Pepys (famous for describing The Fire of London, the plague, and his seduction of an employee). Pepys visited local VIPs near here.
The pub is very sociable. Everybody knows the staff. Lucy is leaving and the talent night ended with three girls wearing wigs singing a parody of a song adapted to Lucy, with the words handed around to the audience. The talent contest had six entrants, four female singers, a man playing a guitar and me reciting comic poetry. The show started after nine pm when the compere announced that children had to leave because of licensing laws.
I wore a cowgirl hat and carried a red fur toy snake around my neck. A neighbour started laughing when she saw me cross the road to the car taking me to the talent contest. She called, 'Larger than life!'
The singers were all great, some with special effects to their voices. But the winner not only had an unusual voice, like Kate Bush, but dramatic gestures to go with it giving her extra stage presence.
Afterwards I got some smiles and laughs from people at nearby tables with my parrot puppet, by flapping its wings.

What have I learned?

1 If you want the audience to join in you need a song with a short, memorable chorus. You need song sheets to hand out.

2 If the sound level is muffled and the people at the back can't see you on stage (because they are behind pillars) and if they can't hear because they have their back to you and their mates are shouting at them something more interesting (who can blame them - good luck to them if they have friends who are more fascinating than the entertainers) then jokes must be one liners and you need a song for audience participation.

3 if you are short wear a tall hat and dramatic costume.

4 To get votes you must bring along lots of friends. Or work the crowd by going up to every table in advance, smiling, introducing your self, handing out a business card and maybe doing some interactive puppet work.

5 Alternatively interact with the audience by throwing things into the crowd or offering prizes.

6 Keep smiling, whether or not they listen, whether or not the sound system works, and whether or not you win. The audience want to have a good evening and so do you when you are performing.